Checking in with the higher consciousness truth seekers on my radar. Thanks for scrolling through my pics ^ !
My very last post was a transparent attempt at documenting an emotional pivot in my pilgrimage. It is not an accurate account of my pilgrimage, but is a very real , very important part of the journey.
This narrative is live and direct from the Holy Old city of Jerusalem.
3.26.09 is my spiritual re- birth day. Which translates to the first of Nissan, Rosh Chodesh, on the hebrew calendar.
For the Jewish ppl, this is the month in which we celebrate Passover. (Id like to write on the intimacy of what passover really means.. but im typing on a smart phone and first need to talk about meeee)
For this person, it’s the Month I always get sick. It’s the month I’ll always remember my mother being in the ICU. . . My father needing and then receiving a new bone marrow … most importantly it’s the month I chose to step out on faith and find a new way to live.
I decided to change everything about myself starting with taking personal responsibility. I had heard “through our inability to accept personal responsibility…”… and that was all I needed to hear. I felt insulted and inspired and filled with hope. So I chose faith. I took a risk, got honest , admitted that I was a slave to myself.. i was self centered and saturated in fear… i could barely leave my room… i could barely show up… i had no enthusiasm for life… i wanted so badly to experience the thrill of life … or to not live at all… and somehow someway, by the grace of God, I was able to find enough energy to step out on faith.
I found out by choosing to leave mitzrayim on my own, I always have a choice. I have a choice to whom and how I pray. I even have the potential to teach people how to treat me. I have the choice to lead by example. To be seen and heard.
I chose to surrender to G-d s will, and I was taken out of the darkest of despair. Today my spiritual re birth day has so much more depth and meaning as I explore who I am in my Jewish identity.
I’m a lil disappointed to find out even in the torah observant community I don’t just fit in. There’s many different groups of Jewish people learning together, practicing certain traditions, dressing according to a certain standard .. and i don’t really fit in any exact group.
This is where freedom gets so good! I’m free to be me in NY in Eretz Yisrael, in the work environment, even in the funky dynamics of my fam, because I have freedom from self!!!! I have self acceptance and an indescribable faith based relationship with th e creator and sustainer.
I packed my bags back in Dec, after some thoughts on becoming more “relig” , and showed up in Jerusalem with a two week game plan. (Insert awesome inspiring talk on parsha Lech Lecha) After that I had no idea how or where G-d would direct my sails … who I’d meet? What questions should I ask? How should i dress ?
I really miss my yoga life. The yoga language and the free love and touch. The yogic diet… and since I’m living in my own personal redemption, I know I have the responsibility to bring light to birth, yoga, and the beautiful humans around me.
I have many more specific beautiful insights specifically on this topic of redemptiom, freedom , exodus, mitzrayim etc but it’s 1 50 am and I really am not thinking super sharp.
If you are reading this,
Thank you for helping me free myself.